Embracing change
It’s ok to not have it all figured out.
Dear friend,
I’m sitting in my living room as I write this. There are blankets hanging over the windows from the day before when my kids wanted the space to be dark for a movie. A bit of a mess, toys scattered and shoes lay exactly where they were taken off. This is summer.
Usually, I prefer a clean and tidy home. I work and think best when my space is clear of clutter. A decluttering of space is a decluttering of mind. However, I have three kids, two cats, two dogs, 5 chickens and two fish tanks…let’s just say, it’s hard to keep things perfect. Except, I don’t want them to be perfect, because life is inherently imperfect.
I am feeling really sentimental lately about how fast time goes by. My oldest just turned 12, and my youngest is 6. I am in a beautiful place in motherhood where I get to watch my daughter grow into a young lady, and simultaneously I get to cuddle and squeeze my little one who still wants to sit on her mamas lap during movie time. My son, a perfect mix of both.
As an artist, I have captured much of our lives together from when they were little. I have painted my children’s portraits countless times. These small moments a glimpse into our lives, memories extracted and preserved on canvas. Most of these paintings are a reflection of what I see and experience as their mother. I’m not sitting in the front row seat, I’ve been in the field with them.
Now, with my oldest, it’s changing a bit. I can feel her quietly asking me to step back. It’s not with words, it’s more of an invitation. I am no longer wrestling life with her, but instead I’ve become the referee. I watch closely, helping when help is needed and cheering her on indefinitely. She trusts me to see the things she cannot see, to guide her when she makes a mistake, to step in when necessary and step out when she wants space. (But if life gets rough and she tags in me, you know I’ll be kicking some ass).
With these changes, my work changes too. As much as I love those cuddly, baby moments in motherhood, I am finding less inspiration from them. Instead of my husband sneaking photos of me asleep with my babies, I am the one sneaking pictures of my kid. Trying my best to preserve them as they are today, knowing they will change tomorrow.
As I write this, my two youngest children are sleeping. We have been non-stop swimming and staying up late and eating too much sugar because…well, summer. So these littles are passed out, getting as much rest as they need. My oldest daughter is at a sleepover though, I hugged her last night in the driveway before she left with her friend, knowing all too well that the promise to go to bed at a decent hour is more of a reassurance that she will eventually sleep…and for me not to worry. But I will always worry.
With growth comes growing pains, with change comes the inevitable discomfort of not knowing what’s next. As my life evolves alongside my children, so does my work as an artist. It is an ebb an flow. Right now, my goal is to gather moments and to play. Because honestly, I’ve been stressed lately, and it’s affecting my work and my children in negative ways. If I want this summer to be memorable, it’s not in frustration that I want these memories to live, but in the freedom of just living.
I don’t have to have it all figured out, I just have to be willing to try, to listen, and to stay close to the work, both as a mom and as an artist.
Your friend,
Spencer
In the studio:
I attended the Affordable Art Fair in Austin, Tx. It was amazing! I sold 6 paintings, participated in an auction, and made some new friends.
I recently found out that Joanna Gaines bought a painting from me in Waco at a little local shop called The Carpenters Daughter and that just MADE MY DAY!
I am currently working on two commissions, a house portrait in oil and a pet portrait in watercolor. If you are interested in getting a commission, feel free to hit the reply button or comment and we will chat about it!
I am teaching an oil painting class at The Art Dept in a couple weeks, come join me if you’re local!
I have two upcoming shows this fall, more on that soon 😊
A few photos from recent events and summer adventures below..
Thanks for being here. If you enjoyed reading this letter and also want to stay in the loop about upcoming events and available art, then I’d love it if you would subscribe below. Until next time!
DUDE! Joanna Gaines bought one of your paintings?!??1 Her taste is impeccable. That sounds like a lifetime achievement award as an artist! Way to go!!!!!